Feeling good but low blood count

God has been so gracious to us over the last few days. Since the last chemo treatments and shots, Sarah has not been sick. She went to the clinic today for her blood test and Hannah went too. Hannah decided to get her blood taken too to support Sarah (and also just to see if there were any 'germs' in there. Our friend, the phlebotomist, said Hannah's few blood drops looked fine and that Hannah was so brave!)

Sarah's numbers were really low as they should be with all of the chemo she has received. The doctor told us to take it easy and to stay indoors for the week, but we have to go back and check her blood in two days. The doctors anticipate Sarah needing a transfusion on Friday since her counts are still on the way down. (platelets 20, hemoglobin 9 and white blood count(neutrophils 615).

We have some really exciting things happen over the last few days that is really going to make July special. Anne will update you soon on the specifics, but I just wanted to let you know your prayers are being heard by our gracious Father. We have been struggling as a family with being isolated and it all seems to be taking it's toll. We have been praying for opportunities to get away from the house and experience some fun family time. We will be doing that this month!

I also wanted to thank my parents. They left last week after staying about five weeks with us. It was not easy for them, especially with my dad suffering from tendentious in his foot, but they were troopers. We were all so sad to see them leave. When they first arrived, they walked into chaos with Sarah going through almost two weeks of hospitalization and a biopsy surgery and doctor appointments. Grandmama and Granddaddy, you are very special people and we love you and thanks for the sacrifice you made for us. The girls keep saying how they wish you could live here all the time. Thank you.

happy to say goodbye to June

The best way to sum up the month of June was Sarah's comment to me the other day. She was having a hard day and wanted me to lay down with her so she could take a nap. We were talking and she said, "Daddy, I am tired of being a special girl; I want to be normal again."

June has been a very difficult month for all of us. Sarah has endured many different types of chemo, we have two more days of shots and a week of pills to go in July before starting maintenance, we've had multiple hospital/emergency room visits, a major surgery (over 2 hours), constant nausea and other horrible symptoms. To add to all of this, the entire family is having to say goodbye to our home in Hong Kong.

Anne and I made the decision to not renew our lease in Hong Kong which meant we had to move everything out by June 30th. First I want to thank all the wonderful friends (more like family to us) who endured so much stress and patience with us to move everything out. Many nights Anne was up late on skype trying to see what we wanted to store, sell or throw away. This entire ordeal was so difficult as we were already emotionally emptied by taking care of Sarah and then adding having to let go of most of our possessions and our home in Hong Kong.

In the midst of all of this, Anne's aunt passed away and that gave us more grief as Sarah had developed a connection with her because they were going through chemo together.

So we start July very tired, but with hope. Hope that God will continue to be faithful in our lives by providing new mercies each morning new that we may endure until the end. As we go through this, we continue to ask- "What more do you want us to give up Father?" We are battling feeling like Jonah and complaining to God as He has covered us with a huge leaf to protect us from the sun. Although we have lost our home in Hong Kong, we have gained a wonderful place in Dallas. His hand has provided all that we have needed and in the end, He has only created in us a greater longing to see the glory of Christ. We desire that in all He allows or directs in our lives, we will proclaim like Paul in
2 Corinthians 4:16 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Thanks again for your prayers. Sarah has so far not developed a fever from these shots, which is the major side effect, so we praise God for His blessings each day. The power of the Holy Spirit is continually amazing me with the spiritual growth and maturity of Sarah. Yesterday we took Rebekah for her first haircut and Hannah also had her's cut. We did not know how Sarah would respond since she is completely bald (she also has lost most of her eyebrows and eyelashes). It was amazing to see her smile and watch as she stood next to both her sisters laughing and enjoying the moment. How I hope to portray that type of goodness and gentleness in my life. That is truly only by God's grace.

One Down, One to Go

Last week was a difficult one. It started with a 10-hour day at the clinic with Sarah having a spinal tap then a couple of infusions followed by routine IV hydration. The spinal tap took twice as long since the doctor couldn't get the needle in the right place to get fluid out so they tried twice and finally got it to work. It took a long time for Sarah to wake up after the procedure, and she has had a pretty sore back since then. Sarah was so happy to have her friend, Alex, come to the hospital to help pass the time. And as you can see in the picture, the girls did some great crafts that Kristen, the Child Life specialist, brought to the room. The girls also got lollipops from Daisy in the coffee shot in the lobby - those always seem to bring big smiles.

I had to go back the next day with Sarah to be trained on giving her a shot so I could do the shots at home. She has to have shots four days in a row (same for next week). So, I have had to scrub up and inject chemo into Sarah's leg this week. It burns her going in so she cries until I can get it all in and then stop to massage her leg. I feel just awful and really don't think that I will be able to do it again next week. I am still devastated by last week and the pain in my heart is still so fresh.

I am so happy that this is our last phase of intense chemo. We are all struggling with being secluded and anti-social and bound by medical visits. Even though the upcoming 2-year maintenance won't be completely easy, I have hope that we can enter into social life again as we are in such need of fellowship and friendship. We have seen so clearly that this is impossible to continue to go through without support of those around us.

This phase has gotten Sarah down, and she has been in tears saying she doesn't want to be 'special' anymore just a normal kid. We have had all the talks about how chemo is such a blessing, and since it was discovered, it has helped cure so many. Even as I say it though, I know that I would have fallen apart way before now. Sarah really has been trusting God from the beginning and it has encouraged me to see it.

Yesterday she asked Jay if she would have gotten Leukemia a long time ago, would she have died. Jay said that yes, she most likely would have since before the 70s only 14% of kids with Leukemia survived. Hannah heard the conversation and got really upset saying so Sarah wouldn't die. Hannah didn't grasp what they were talking about. She was just so upset to think that Sarah could die at all. None of us really allow ourselves to think about losing Sarah. It is just too possible to even let our thoughts go there for a minute. I know how Hannah feels.

So we continue on, even in this harder time we find ourselves in right now. Thank you for lifting us up in your prayers, and we pray and ask God to help us continue this journey bringing Him glory.

video update

Stitches and Dim Sum

Some of you have seen the pattern - no blog update means we are enjoying a rest from chemo and side effects. We haven't written a blog update in 7 days, and we have been enjoying every one of those days without chemo. But we have still had three doctors visits to take out the stitches from the biopsy on her red bumps, take off her cast, and check her blood counts. There is still no definitive answer on what the red bumps are. They are fading though and no new ones have sprung up, so the doctors are just happy that it wasn't a bad infection of any sort.

Her stitches on her backside and leg are healing, and her finger is cast-free but pretty swollen with a big incision and a little pain. Sarah finally got the right sized sling and is enjoying the novelty.

After one of the appointments this past week, Sarah really wanted some Chinese food. She hasn't really had any since we have been back. So we went to a Dim Sum place and the people working there were from Hong Kong - Kowloon actually which is on the subway line from our house there. Sarah kept saying how happy she was for the food and the chopsticks and the hot po lai tea. Rebekah might have eaten the most as I had to keep stuffing pork bun and steamed shrimp bun into her mouth with my chopsticks.

Now we are getting ready for next week as we start the last round of the intense chemo for the next month.

I have just been going through the motions of cleaning and cooking and errands and such, not able to plan anything or even schedule a visit with anyone as we can only take each day as it comes right now. It has started to effect my spirit as well. I find myself just going through the motions of church and singing and reading the Bible, not really and truly fellowshipping, praising and worshiping. Don't know why I am in such a place. I do want to be excited again about praising God and longing to hear Him speak to me through His word. From past experience, such blah spiritual feelings stem from a self-centeredness. Funny how I am one of billions of people on a tiny planet in one of thousands of solar systems, and I still have a problem of making myself so important in my thoughts. I need a renewal in thinking, once again. God is the beginning of ALL things, everything. And I am truly grateful that He called my name to know Him and to search out the truths He has for us on this earth. It really is an exciting life if you take time to ask Him for eyes to see the true reality, to grasp the reason for our daily living here, to walk by faith and not by sight. I need to make the time to do that right now. Without it, all the errands and the cleaning and the cooking and the motions lose their meaning.

Hannah's Ballet Recital

Thank you for your prayers. Hannah enjoyed her 'first time ever on stage,' as she calls it. We might have uncovered a heart's desire and a talent of Hannah's. She really does love to dance and is actually really good at it. And it is so encouraging to me to hear her tell anyone who asks that she dances for God and He even sent a costume for her to be able to dance on the stage!

Sarah also felt good enough to attend Hannah's recital! We were so excited to enjoy the experience as a family. We even had both sets of the girls' grandparents there and their aunt, uncle, and four cousins. It was such a blessing.

During this next week, Sarah will get her stitches removed from the biopsies on her red bumps. And she will get her cast off if all looks well on her finger. We will also go get her blood counts checked to see how she is doing with the chemo. But she will not get any more chemo this week, which she is happy about.

The hard part starts on the 23rd now that it was delayed for the finger biopsy and the chicken pox scare. And although it will be one of the hardest chemo phases yet, it only lasts a few weeks.

I am praying even now for the strength only Jesus can give.

Sarah is Home

Sarah was able to come home yesterday afternoon after receiving her chemo. Please be praying she can keep hydrated so we don't have to make a trip back to the hospital.

The initial reports came back and she does not have chickenpox. We will know exactly what it is in a few days.

Another prayer is that Sarah feels good tomorrow to go watch Hannah's recital. It will mean a lot to all of us.

Blessings,

Jay