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Tuesday, August 7, 2012

No More Code Red

We have left, hopefully forever, the season of code red for our family. For two and a half years now, we have been on constant watch, constant alert with tight nerves watching every move Sarah's body has taken. Now, we are looking at the toll it has taken on Sarah and on all of us. We have been advised to seek counseling and actively seek out opportunities for healing. There are not many resources, amazingly, to help navigate the after-treatment effects, both physical and emotional and social, for a cancer kid and the emotional effects for the siblings and parents. We are even looking into helping be a part of the solution for that problem. But for now, we are starting with counseling. At the end of the month, we will be going out of state to the only off-treatment cancer kid family camp I have found where they have counseling and group sessions with other parents and kids. It will be four days to focus on what we have not been able to deal with before now.
Then in September we will be going to a cancer family retreat in Alabama to continue with our family's rebuilding. I am a little apprehensive to start this new season, but I know we cannot continue to operate as a family where we are right now.
When Sarah's life hung in the balance by the day, there was no time to spend on anything other than her immediate treatment. Now, the effects of the past two years are large before us and continue to creep up in daily life for me and Jay,  for her closest sister, Hannah, and even a little for Rebekah. In some ways, it is similar to post traumatic stress disorder, but on the flip side, it is like living in a small town your whole life and then traveling to the most amazing places of the world and going back home again, only to realize you can never fully convey where you have been and what you have seen and experienced. It has been a terrifying journey and yet a grace-filled miraculous one. I pray that our family gets the help we need at this stage.