Saturday, June 18, 2011

At home

Sarah arrived home last night around 7. She still had back pain, but the fever never came back after the 1st day in the hospital.

The best we can tell is that Sarah's sickness was not connected to Hannah's virus. It looks like Sarah just had a rough time with the back procedure and some phlegm worked its way into her lungs even with them suctioning out her throat while she was asleep during the procedure. The pain she was experiencing was from the needle going into her spine. She still has some swelling but she is able to walk around much better. We really don't know why this one was so different. We can't count how many procedures Sarah has endured over the past year and a half and she never had this many problems. It is a hard reminder that you never are able to relax while enduring chemo. She is on some extra antibiotics for a while and some pain meds for her hips, back and headaches. We still aren't quite sure of all that is going on inside her little body.

Now, we have to quickly forget the past week. After arriving from Colorado on Saturday, I was looking forward to a quiet week at home before my trip on Monday. Instead, our home airconditioner went out on Monday when it was 102 outside, and we had to spend the night at a hotel since it was too late to get it fixed. Then Sarah stayed in the hospital for two days while Anne had to take Hannah (twice) and Rebekah(once) to the doctor. Even with all of this, God gave us the endurance to persevere. Last night, the girls wanted to give me my Father's Day cards so I would have a few days to enjoy them before I leave. As Sarah, Hannah and Rebekah walked up to me (I was holding Deborah), I was overwhelmed with the love of my heavenly Father. With trials like this week, it reminds me the incredible blessing it is to be a father. The brokenness of my heart increases each time I see Sarah suffer. The beauty of it is that brokenness is not allowing anger or resentment to dominate my mind/attitude, but instead the brokenness is causing me to be a dad who loves his children more richly and humbly. Of course, I am not perfect, but the fact I can see progress in my life gives me such joy to know the Spirit is molding me into the image of Jesus, and I thank Him for it.

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