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Thursday, July 15, 2010

Anniversary


Today marks the 6 month anniversary of Sarah's diagnosis. As I think back to that afternoon... I had just driven back to the Hong Kong hospital (where Sarah had already been for three days) and the Chinese doctors were taking me and Anne into another room to give us test results- I get nauseous all over again. (the picture is of Sarah in the hospital on the 15th of Jan.) In a way, this all feels like a horrible dream and it has been a nightmare that has lasted six months. There are mornings I still wake up thinking, I can't believe my princess has cancer and is going through all of this suffering. It is in those times that I have the sweetest conversations with my loving savior, Jesus. Lately, I have gained strength from realizing that even though Sarah is battled with health problems and a life-threatening disease that can reappear at any time, we are rich in Jesus. The blessing is watching Sarah continue to mature in her faith in Jesus and grow at such incredible ways. In seeing this, it is a reminder that Jesus has called and saved her for an eternity with Him. It is a reminder that faith is about believing in things not seen instead of what is seen. It is a reminder that many fathers are struggling with perfectly healthy daughters who are spiritually dead. The human, narcissist side of me, wants both. Perfectly healthy and spiritually alive, but in the end, our reliance on God as our strength comes from not dwelling on past or present circumstances, but yet keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus and the hope that we have in spending eternity with Him. The girls bought me the new biography on Dietrich Bonhoeffer for father's day. I just finished it and was so blessed by how through God's grace, Bonhoeffer kept an eternal perspective even when faced with certain death. The doctor who oversaw his death at the concentration camp gave testimony of this grace of God. Until the moment he stepped to the gallows to be hung by the Nazis, he was praying and finding strength in the Lord. The doctor said that in all of the deaths he has witnessed, which I was pretty sure it was many, he has never seen a man so submissive to the will of God. Wow! what an earthly testimony.
As our family tries to forget the past events of today's anniversary, my prayer for us is that whatever God sends, we glorify Him by keeping in His strength and submitting to His will so the glory of Jesus will shine. In that is true peace and joy.

Prayer request is we have a huge weekend planned to celebrate the end of intensive treatments and Sarah's wish being granted by Make-a-Wish. The problem is Sarah still has low immunity resistance, so any moment, we could be back at the ER. Please pray for protection so she can feel the love of Jesus through those who helped with this coming weekend.

1 comment:

Mike said...

Dear Clarks - Thank you for keeping everyone up-to-date and sharing your lives with us. I started following Sarah's Blog while my wife, Jennifer, and I were in Astrakhan, Russia, finalizing our adoption of Barbara (5) and Stephen (4). Jennifer and I have had Hannah in our Sunday School class so we have somewhat met informally. I wanted to let you guys know we are praying for Sarah and her healing and thank the Lord she has a personal walk with Jesus her Savior. We would like to have you guys up to Prosper when Sarah feels well enough to come. I know Daniel, Barbara, and Stephen would love to meet your kids. I will look for you guys at church and introduce myself. If there is anything you guys need please let us know. God Bless.

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