House Dish Washer is Missing

I just realized that our house dish washer hasn't been to work in a couple of days when I came into the kitchen and saw both sides of the sink with mountains of dirty dishes. Jay does so much around here that he leaves big gaps when he is gone. Which reminds me that I must go out in the freezing rain before the sun comes up to put out the garbage can (after filling it with the trash from our house). I am counting down the 13 days left until Jay gets back from Asia.

Jay doesn't just give our family practical help. He also leads our family spiritually which are big shoes to fill when he is gone as he leads our morning family devotions. I have decided to capitalize on the 'all girl' aspect of our house during this time and do a mother/daughter devotion with the girls called The Princess and the Kiss. We have only done one so far and all I can say is I managed not to lose it at Rebekah as she shuffles around whining and crying loudly the whole time, at Hannah for her extreme handicapped in focusing and listening, and at Sarah for not ever wanting to admit that there is any hint of wrong in her life (such a perfectionistic attitude surely isn't coming from me:)!). I need to pray more before we start these little sessions as I really want to model for the girls to deny self and follow Christ in his love and sacrifice.

I was highly motivated to make it to church this morning as I am the sole guardian right now, so I am all there is even when I'm being pushed to the edge. Worshipping God renewed my soul and refreshed my weary heart to continue after Jesus. After making it home in the blizzard the girls played a bit in the snow and we made snow ice cream. Thank you God for such a fun and beautiful time.

If you don't hear back from me, I am either doing really badly and have blown it so much that the growling mommy voice is all I have left, or I am doing really well and I need every once of mental and emotional capacity to keep going. I do know that by prayer and supplication, by meditating on God's words, and by keeping focused on Him - the miracle of modeling the denial of self and following of Christ will happen. And in my weakness, He is strong.